In Sam Harris’s fantastic Waking Up app, he has a lesson on the last time we do things. With anything you do, there’s a possibility it could be the last time you do it. This is important to think about often, because it makes experiences more special.
Even annoying experiences can be reframed in this light. I hated marching in parades when I was in high school, and I was dying for it to be the last time I did one of those. That wish misses the point of this exercise, though. There were positive parts to those parades, such as spending time with my friends and doing something positive for the community, to appreciate. Even if there hadn’t been, there’s value in reflecting on the ephemeral nature of experiences.
The most important of these reflections is Memento Mori, the reminder you will one day die. You can read more about it at the above link, or here for a similar idea from Tim Urban. The gist: contemplating death helps you clarify what is and isn’t important, and helps you appreciate life more.
This is all well and good, but we can make this kind of reflection stickier by adding more of them. You can reflect on the fact that:
-Other people you know, including your loved ones, will one day die
-Your romantic relationship will one day end (either by breakup/divorce, or one of your deaths)
-You won’t always be doing the work you’re doing (be that a job or an entrepreneurial project)
-Your children will grow out of many of their behaviors, and one day will leave the house
-Your friends could betray you, or abandon you, or just start being dicks
-The people you’re with, even in a healthy and long-lasting relationship, will change
These reflections might be depressing at first, but the only rational response is to focus on what you can control. They can energize you if you let them.
Thanks for reading! I’ll see you soon (unless, of course, this is the last time you’re on my site – I’ll miss you).
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