At the company I work for, I have to attend a lot of meetings for younger colleagues. They all follow roughly the same cycle: The meeting organizer doesn’t prepare > They ask if anyone has questions > No one does because the meeting has a vague/nonexistent agenda > Awkward silence.
Apparently, no one’s gotten the memo that this is a bad way to run a meeting. Or perhaps this is the memo, because this happens often.
The problem is the people organizing these meetings are expecting someone to save them. They think someone will spark an engaging discussion, and all they (the organizer) had to do was gather the people together. Everyone else is expecting the meeting organizer to bring that spark, though, and we’re left with a room of sad people staring at each other.
Many people operate, either explicitly or implicitly, with a similar assumption in dating. We think that someone cool and sexy and fun will suddenly appear and take an interest in us, and all we had to do was “be ourselves”. This is a fine strategy if you’re Matthew Kidman or Anastasia Steele, but it rarely works in real life. The way to date an amazing person is to first be an amazing person yourself. (Check out this video for more on this topic.)
No one is coming to save you. If you want to have an interesting meeting, come prepared to lead a discussion, and expect you might have to fill in some awkward silences. If you want to find an amazing partner, be an amazing person that many people want to date. If you want to work with incredible people, create something that shows them you’re worth working with.
That’s what I’m trying to do with this blog. Let me know how I’m doing.
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