Never Again

Usually, when we say we’ll never do something again, we mean it. Unfortunately, we rarely follow through. Why?

When you make a statement like, “Baby, I feel terrible for cheating on you with the mailman, I’ll never do it again,” you’re saying it because you’re overcome with emotion.

But… that feeling fades more quickly than you expect it to. And the temptation comes back more quickly than you expect it to as well. Look, it’s not your fault the mailman’s ass looks great in those shorts!

When you say, “I’ll never do that again; this time it’s different,” you’re overestimating how long your negative emotions will make the bad behavior seem unappealing. Even if you feel guilty about something for years, that doesn’t mean you’ll never be tempted again.

So what to do?

Brief events can cause lasting change, but “feeling really bad” is usually not one of those events. See if you can remove any triggers of bad behavior in your environment (e.g. get the alcohol out of your house if you’re an alcoholic, avoid people who bring out the worst in you, etc.).

Plan how you’re going to respond when you inevitably face temptation (it’s hard to remove triggers completely). Do you have enough willpower in the first 10 seconds of temptation to walk away? Can you get your friends to hold you back (literally or figuratively) when they see you pining?

Taking these steps isn’t easy, but they’re more likely to help you stop than a dramatic proclamation in the 15 minutes after you sober up.

Oh yeah, and stay away from the mailman.